The Emotion Revelation
by parker08
Summary: Sheldon has been hiding his true feelings for a long time. When Leonard and Penny get engaged he doesn't know how to cope. Shamy/Lenny leading to eventual Sheldon/Lenny.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing, all names, characters, etc. belong to their respective owners.

Crying. Hysterical crying. He lay back on the bed and covered his eyes as the hysterical sobbing continued. He'd held it together all night and now he was finally alone he could show the emotion he wanted to. He was alone in the apartment. He didn't care if people knew anyway. He'd waited long enough. It was over now. It was never going to happen. He could forget it.

Except he couldn't, because here he was lay on his bed, still fully clothed, crying his eyes out. He reached across to his bedside table to grab a tissue. He blew his nose hard and chucked the used tissue across the room. He was used to being so meticulous about tidying but he couldn't even be bothered tonight. He threw himself back on the bed and put his hands over his face. He wasn't sobbing anymore he was just lying there with his hands over his wet face.

He was a smart man and he should have known what was coming. If he'd thought about it he knew it was going to work out this time. Just because it hadn't worked out for them before, it didn't mean it wasn't going to happen this time. He wasn't expecting an engagement so soon though, especially after what had happened last time Penny had proposed. He'd been sympathetic, he knew how Leonard must feel, rejected by someone so special, so beautiful, so different.

He didn't know how long he lay there, mulling his evening over. He didn't know how long he spent debating what he wanted to do with his life. All he knew was that the sunshine slowly started to creep through his curtains and the room was bathed in a low glow. He waited. His alarm clock slowly started to beep. Rolling over he flicked it off.

Sheldon couldn't even be bothered to get out of bed, he didn't want to go to the job he had once loved so much. He didn't care for string theory any more, he was wasting his life. He remembered how much she had helped him when he couldn't decide what he wanted to do, how she had helped him with his new look. He'd enjoyed being touched by her that day, it had made him feel... happy.

He rubbed his eyes. He could hear movement in the apartment. Leonard must have come back to get something. He didn't want him to know about his internal turbulence. He didn't want to talk about it with anyone. He climbed out of bed and half staggered to the shower. It hadn't hit him how exhausted he was until he actually tried to walk to his bathroom. He didn't see Leonard on the way. He was glad, he knew he looked a mess and he knew Leonard would know he had been crying.

The journey to work was quiet. Leonard seemed to be waiting for him to bring up the engagement, but he was damned if he was going to do that. Sheldon suddenly gasped and let out a long groan.

"You okay, buddy?" Leonard looked at him in concern.

"I'm fine, what would possibly make you think I'm not?"

"Sarcasm?" Leonard frowned. Sheldon half smirked pleased with himself.

He wasn't just upset now, he was angry too, he was furious. He'd left the guys in the cafeteria, and decided he was going to take the bus home. He didn't have his bus pants with him, but to hell with germs right now. What difference would getting sick make to him anyway now?

He stormed through his apartment door. Why wouldn't the university let him change discipline? He was valuable to them whatever he did. He was a genius. What difference did it make what research he carried out? He grimaced and walked to his room throwing himself face down on the bed. He heard his phone buzzing and he reached over.

Amy was wondering where he was. He hadn't text her back last night and he hadn't replied to her all day. Fourteen missed calls and nine unread messages. Why was she so desperate to talk to him? He didn't understand the desperation to constantly make contact. If something happened to him, the university or Leonard or someone would let her know. She didn't need to send these incessant messages. He unlocked his phone and text her.

_I'm fine. I'm busy at the moment. If it's not important I don't want to talk._

He watched the message send before resting the phone on his chest. He watched his chest rise and fall for a few minutes.

_What's wrong, Sheldon? I know you better than this. Would you like me to come over?_

He irritably text her back.

_I'm fine and I'm at work._

The phone buzzed again. "Good lord," he muttered out loud.

_I know you're not at work. Leonard called to tell me you went home because you were upset about the university not letting you leave string theory._

He ignored the message. He felt his eyelids getting heavy and he realised he hadn't slept in nearly twenty four hours. He was woken by his phone vibrating incessantly again his chest. Amy Farrah Fowler. He pressed ignore.

_I need to be on my own. _

He closed his laptop lid. Talking to Beverly had made him feel a bit better. She had given him a lot to think about. Did he even have to stay at the university he was at? Plenty of other universities would be willing to hire him. He'd spoken about Leonard and Penny's engagement, but she had seemed disinterested and he didn't want to press the topic anyway.

He rested his head on the cold desk, feeling the cool surface on his warm cheek and feeling relaxed. He could feel his eyelids drooping again but quickly stretched to stand up not wanting to hurt his back by sleeping on the desk. He walked to the kitchen and set about making himself a cup of tea. He was startled by hearing his front door open. Assuming it would be Amy coming to check up on him he carried on making his tea.

"Oh hey, Sheldon, how you doing?"

He felt his heart leap and he spun round meeting his attractive blond neighbours eyes.

"Hello, Penny. I'm well thank you," he half smiled.

She moved over to the kitchen and leant on the counter and met his eyes. He stood there looking confused.

"You were quiet last night sweetie," she flicked her eyes over his face looking concerned.

"I'm just angry about not being able to change disciplines, I'm fine though," he nodded, more to convince himself than Penny. "In fact, I'm going to write to the board of directors now."

He brushed past the countertop and moved to his desk, cup of tea in hand.

"Did you want anything?" he indicted the fridge, knowing Penny had really come round to raid his food.

"Oh thanks sweetie, I was just going to grab some milk," she took the milk from the fridge and walked towards the door. "You know where I am if you need me."

He nodded curtly and turned back to his letter writing. He did need her, but he doubted she was willing to give him what he wanted.

If he was angry about the university refusing his request to change subjects, he was angrier still now. Leonard wanted him to move out. Amy wanted him to move in. He'd had enough. He needed to get away. He needed to leave Pasadena and all the hurt and confusion. He stared blankly at the train track in front of him. The bench underneath him was cold and uncomfortable, but he didn't care. He was ready to leave now.

He heard voices behind him and saw Penny and Leonard approaching.

"You tracked my phone?" he asked.

Leonard was talking to him, trying to convince him to stay. He wasn't interested. He wasn't staying. He'd made up his mind and Leonard wasn't going to change it. Penny took him to one side and spoke to him. Leonard was convinced he wouldn't be okay. They were talking about Freaky Friday now and suddenly he wasn't a grown man.

Sheldon sat there watching, his eyes glazed over. Leonard turned to him.

"If you need to take this trip Sheldon, I'm not going to stop you."

"I do," Sheldon said defiantly.

Penny came round behind him and wrapped her arm round his shoulder before gently kissing his cheek. He didn't even flinch at the contact.

"Be safe and call us," she whispered. She rubbed the lipstick off his face gently.

"Sheldon, I'm going to miss you," Leonard said seriously.

"Of course you are," he said simply.

"You just made that easier," Leonard muttered. He turned and then they walked away. Then they were gone. He was alone.

So it was only the second time she had ever kissed him. It felt good, even if it wasn't on his lips. He glanced down and could see his bulge in his pants. He adjusted his hands in his lap trying to ignore it. What was wrong with him?


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon was sat in his room, his head was spinning. For the first time in days he didn't feel like crying. But to be honest, he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. He'd been drinking from the mini bar for the best part of the evening. He couldn't even remember the name of the hotel he was staying in nor did he know that he'd definitely had too much to drink.

He saw his phone light up on the bedside table. He tried to get up off the floor to get his phone but ended up crawling towards the bed. Reaching upwards he felt for his phone on the cabinet and peered at it. It was from Penny.

_Hi sweetie, how's it going on the road? Xo_

Sheldon sighed. He was genuinely confused by the question, which in his right state of mind, would have confirmed to him that he had drunk far too much. He dropped his phone. Laughing, he picked the phone back up and unlocked it to send a reply.

_Do come see me?_

Sheldon was completely unaware that the message he sent to Penny made no sense. What he was aware of still was the fact that he wanted to see Penny, he wanted to kiss her. He tried to think some more and sent her another reply.

_Kiss me?_

He smirked to himself and lay down on the carpet. In his sober state, Sheldon would have been horrified to be so close to the germ infested carpet. He would have been repulsed, he would have run to the shower and refused to come out until he had been able to completely disinfect every inch of his body. But Sheldon wasn't sober, and right now lying on the carpet, he was in an usual state of equilibrium. His phone buzzed on the carpet next to him.

_Did you want to speak to Amy? :/ xo_

_No xxxxxx_

He awoke the next morning on the carpet, his face stuck to the stiff lint. His head was throbbing as he gradually opened his eyes. He jumped from the carpet in horror and grabbed his head in pain. Surveying the room he was quickly able to ascertain the cause of his headache, as he looked at a number of bottles of alcoholic beverages, all of which were empty. He stumbled a little, disgusted by the scene before him. He was disappointed with himself. Just because he was alone and unhappy didn't mean he needed to drink his sorrows away with bottles containing fermented yeast.

He looked down at his body. He was still wearing the clothes he wore at the train station when he left Pasadena. He had quickly equipped himself with pajamas and cleans clothes at a local store, but he had failed to change them last night when he arrived at his hotel. He had also failed to call Penny like he had promised. He had simply begun drinking.

He walked to the bathroom and stripped once inside. He turned the shower to a moderate temperature and climbed in. The water soothed him a bit but not enough to avert the tears. They started falling as soon as he realised the situation he was still in, that drinking his night away had changed nothing. He was still missing Penny, he was still upset about Leonard wanting him to move out and he was still angry that the university wouldn't let him change his field of research. People thought that things looked different in the morning. They did. They looked worse because they were definitely here to stay.

Once showered he wrapped himself in one of the robes provided and walked back into his room to find the clothes he had purchased. Sheldon dressed quickly before moving to the side of the bed and sitting down with his head in his hands. Deciding he ought to check the time he reached for his phone which was laid on the carpet. 11.07. Oh yes and a series of missed calls and text messages.

Amy and Leonard were conversational, wanting to know if he had arrived somewhere safely and if he was okay. He ignored them and turned his attention to his seven missed calls from Penny and three text messages.

_I'm guessing you're drinking Sheldon? I think you're a bit confused xo_

_Are you okay? Xo_

_Sweetie, I'm here if you need to talk to me xoxo_

Oh good lord. He scrolled up on the screen to see what he'd sent to her. As he read the messages he felt his phone slip through his fingers and back onto the floor. He took a series of deep breaths trying to prevent the inevitable panic attack. He lay on his bed gasping for air, thoughts rushing through his head about what was happening right now at home. What did Penny think of him? Did Leonard know? Had she told Amy?

He calmed himself enough to get up off the bed and look in his satchel for some Tylenol for his headache. He went to his mini fridge and took a bottle of water, knocking back the painkillers and downing the rest of the water.

"Okay, Sheldon, you can sort this out," he told himself, although not even he was convinced by this.

He found Penny's name in his contacts and dialled. The phone rang twice before he heard her cheery Nebraskan accent.

"Oh hi sweetie, I've been so worried about you! What did you do last night?"

"I… had a few drinks, um…" he trailed off. Was she going to ask him about the texts? He wasn't bringing it up if not.

"Well good for you! Did you get in touch with Amy in the end last night?"

"No… did she ask me to call her?"

"Well no, but I'm guessing you wanted her there to kiss you?"

Sheldon went silent. He swallowed hard. Why are you pausing? Go for her story. You don't have to explain yourself then. It'll be over.

"No, I didn't. I fell asleep after I text you," he hedged.

"Oh, oh well, I'm sure she'd love to hear from you!" Penny said brightly.

Bought it.

"Well, thank you for calling Penny."

"Okay sweetie, although you did call me! Maybe you should have a lie down?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay, well drink plenty of water! Take care of yourself!"

The line went dead. Sheldon lay back on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. He might have just lied to Penny but at least she didn't know about him. At least Leonard wasn't going to be having his balls for baubles. And at least Amy wouldn't be having a strop over him asking another girl to kiss him.

Sheldon walked with his hands in his pockets around San Diego. He had been wandering aimlessly around the city centre for almost an hour now. Sheldon wanted to go home. He never thought he'd say it but he was lonely. He had told everyone just over 24 hours ago that he wanted to get away from everything, but now he wanted to back where he belonged. He couldn't cope with the change at home. But there was even more change out here. He was scared, he didn't really know what he was doing. Maybe Leonard was right, maybe he wasn't a grown man.

Maybe if I was a grown man, I would have been able to ask Penny out years ago and I wouldn't be sat here regretting it. Maybe she wouldn't be engaged to Leonard right now if I was proper man and I'd actually asked her out. The thing is Sheldon, he told himself, you did ask her out once, she didn't want to go out with you. She doesn't like you like that. She wants to be your friend, and nothing else.

Sheldon felt his phone ring in his pocket. His heart leapt, maybe Penny wanted to talk to him again. He pulled it out of his pocket to find that Amy was calling him.

"Good afternoon, Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Sheldon, I've been trying to get in touch with you all day. What have you been doing?"

Imagining what my life would be like if I asked your best friend out. Probably not what Amy wanted to hear.

"I've just been walking. I need to clear my head."

"Sheldon, you promised me last night you'd stay in touch!"

He took the phone from his ear and hung up. He didn't need to be shouted at by his girlfriend. He needed to spend some time thinking about what he was actually doing with his life. He needed to consider if he even wanted to be with Amy. Regardless, he wasn't going to be with Penny.

Knock knock knock "Amy!"

Knock knock knock "Amy!"

Knock knock knock "Amy!"

Sheldon heard the door being unlocked. It was the following evening and he had taken the train back to Pasadena. He got a taxi from the station to Amy's house and was currently waiting outside her door. He hadn't spoken to her since he hung up on her yesterday, but from the texts he received from everyone else, he gathered she was pretty mad.

Amy stood in front of him. She was wearing a blue cardigan and long grey skirt. She glared at him. He stood there uncomfortably shifting from one foot to another.

"Can I come in?"

"No, Sheldon, you can't."

"I thought you would be happy that I came back."

Amy stepped to one side to close the door but Sheldon dodged past her and entered the apartment. She was glaring at him as he moved to sit on her couch. He looked up at her. He chewed his lip wondering what to do next.

"Look, we need to talk…"

"Sheldon, I have had enough of the way you treat me! Unless you show some sort of commitment to this relationship now, it is over!"

"Amy, I do show commitment. I kiss you every date night. I've never kissed another girl like that."

"Sheldon, that is not a commitment! I've been going out with you for three years now, I expect something a bit more than that!"

He sighed and looked at the floor. "Listen, Amy, you know I'm not comfortable with physical contact."

"Sheldon, I've never even seen your genitals!"

Sheldon's face flushed absolutely scarlet. He looked at the floor again feeling the blush creep down his neck. He rubbed his hands against his knees awkwardly and moved his hands together to link his fingers. He bit his lower lip and glanced up at her.

"Amy that's inappropriate. I'm not comfortable with you saying that to me."

"For goodness sake, we've known each other for four years and we've been going out for three! I wouldn't mind if you'd proposed or something and said we were going to have sex when we get married! But no you don't even have that plan!"

She was shouting now. Sheldon stood up drawing himself up to his full height.

"When I first met you, Amy," he said steadily. "We both agreed coitus was off the table. I never wanted to put it on the table. You want it, I don't."

"You don't know if you want it!" she screamed. "You've never done anything like that so how do you know?"

Sheldon stepped back and stumbled a bit. He was shaken by the shouting. He hated arguments and he didn't want to get involved. He made a move towards the door but Amy grabbed hold of him to pull him back. She was stronger than he'd anticipated and he tripped backwards landing on her couch.

"Amy, calm down," he resonated. He could tell from the look on her face that he needed to leave.

"Good night, Sheldon."

He took one last glance at her, and made a speedy exit from the apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the lovely reviews! I've changed the rating of the story as this chapter has some mature themes. Hope you enjoy!**

Sheldon was sat in his apartment at his desk drafting another letter of appeal to the university, requesting he be allowed to change disciplines. He was feeling thoroughly shaken after last night at Amy's and didn't know how to go about contacting her. He had not received his customary good morning text and he was starting to feel a little uneasy about the situation. Perhaps Penny had told her something last night?

Leonard strolled into the living room.

"You ready for work, buddy?"

"I'm not going to work, Leonard."

Leonard looked at him quizzically. "I know I'm going to regret this but, why?"

"I think even you, Leonard, should understand that I refuse to work for an institution that has no respect for my genius. I have an IQ of 187, my comments and work on everything is valuable."

Leonard shook his head. "Well, I'm leaving Sheldon. If you need a lift, you'll have to come now."

"I don't require a lift. I will not be attending work today."

Sighing loudly, Leonard grabbed his jacket and headed toward the door. He turned to bid Sheldon farewell and left.

Sheldon rubbed his temples and started considering the Amy problem. As much as he was opposed to coitus, Sheldon was also opposed to change. The idea of Amy not being in his life was at best an inconvenience to him. Was this something another piece of jewellery could fix? If it was he needed to fetch Penny for a ride. In the end he decided to hedge and send Amy a text.

_Good morning, Amy. I trust you slept well._

Sheldon put the phone back on the desk and waited. Even if Amy didn't want more jewellery he supposed he could ask Penny to take him shopping. Penny loved shopping and would be happy to accompany him. Plus he would then get to spend some alone time with her, rather than when he usually saw her when the group hung out of an evening. Sheldon's phone lit up.

_Sheldon, I wish to talk to you this evening. Would you be free around 6pm?_

_I will be free at exactly 6pm._

He couldn't tell from the messages if Amy was mad or if she just wanted to talk to him about the events of last night. Did she feel guilty about what she said to him? Was he supposed to feel guilty about what he said to her? Good lord, these social situations are far too confusing. He knew someone who would be able to help him though.

Moments after completing his signature knock, Penny invited him into her apartment. Dodging round the laundry that somewhat littered the room he managed to take a seat on the couch. She sat down next to him. He smelt her shampoo, green apples.

"Penny, I have a question."

"Yes, Amy's mad at you." She raised an eyebrow at him to see if she'd guessed the question. Of course she had.

"How do you know?"

"Sheldon, she's my best friend, when she's upset or had an argument with you, she's obviously going to tell me!"

Sheldon nodded slowly, mulling over the information he had gleaned. So Amy was mad at him. He had a fair idea his flat refusal on the coitus front might have something to do with it. Then again she probably wasn't overly impressed with him hanging up on her. He let out a sigh.

"I have to meet her tonight. Should I take a gift?"

"Sheldon, sweetie, I don't think she's going to appreciate another Star Trek boxset."

"I could get her that dehumidifier I wanted to get her once?"

"Sheldon, I appreciate you struggle with things like this but what is she going to do with a dehumidifier?"

Sheldon opened his mouth. "Well, obviously she'll be able to deal with any mould problems she might have and –"

"Can't you just be a normal guy and take her some flowers?"

Sheldon furrowed his brow in confusion and looked at Penny. He was normal, his mother had him tested. How many times did he need to explain that? Penny carried on anyway.

"The thing I don't understand, Sheldon is you text her, wanting to see her and kiss her and you get back and you're just well, you!"

"I didn't send those texts to Amy."

"Yes but you were somewhat inebriated, I mean you might have been texting Leonard I think for all you knew! Lucky it was me!"

No, no it wasn't lucky. Because even when he told her how he felt, she still didn't understand, just assumed he wanted to reach his girlfriend. Even when he told her what he wanted, she didn't get it. Was he really that far below her? In terms of intelligence, no he was leaps and bounds ahead. You're not good looking enough for her, said a small voice in his head. No, said another voice, surely you're better looking than Leonard?

"Will you take me to Amy's tonight? Now your check engine light is fixed we can have a peaceful car journey."

"My check engine light is on a scrapheap somewhere. But yes I suppose I'll take you."

-At precisely 6pm, as promised, Sheldon knocked on Amy's door. On Penny's advice he wore suit bottoms, a shirt and a tie, and carried with him a bouquet of roses. He had insisted on white, despite Penny's advice that by bring red ones, Amy would definitely "jump him". The problem was, he had no idea why he was doing this. What was he hoping he would achieve tonight? Forgiveness? An easy way out?

Amy opened the door and he swallowed hard. He glanced down to meet her eyes. She didn't look angry. She didn't look particularly pleased to see him, but she didn't look angry. He passed her the flowers and reached down to kiss her cheek as Penny had instructed. Sheldon never listened to anyone, but Penny was different. Besides she knew what she was doing when it came to relationships.

Amy took the flowers from him. "Thank you, Sheldon. You look nice."

Sheldon looked down at himself. He did cut rather a dashing figure. "Thank you."

Amy invited him inside, offering a hot beverage. She headed over to the kitchen area and began making him tea and put her flowers into a vase of water. He adjusted his hands in his lap repeatedly and fidgeted uncomfortably.

She walked back over to him, with two steaming mugs in her hands which she set down on the coffee table. She sat down next to his spot on her sofa. They met each other's eyes.

"Sheldon, I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said to you last night, and for making you uncomfortable."

"It's hard for me but I need to apologize too. For not speaking to you when I was away and for what I said last night, if it hurt you."

Amy thanked him for his apology and proceeded to wrap her arm round him. Sheldon's entire body stiffened. He didn't want to pull away and have to apologise again but he was so uncomfortable. After what felt like eternity, but probably wasn't more than ten seconds, Amy let him go.

He chewed his lip. Penny had wanted him to try something tonight. Something that was a long way out of his comfort zone. He wanted to do it. It would make Amy happy and she would excitedly tell Penny. Maybe Penny would see he was making an effort though. Pushing himself beyond what he felt comfortable with. He swallowed.

"Amy, I would not be opposed to looking at some of the things you have said to me in the past. As long as if I wanted to stop, you promise to stop."

Amy furrowed her brow. "What kind of things?"

"I looked up what second base was. Clothed I could let you do it to me. I don't know if I can do it to you."

Amy's jaw hit the ground. "Sheldon, what do you think second base means?"

"Well according to Wikipedia, it involves touching and kissing erogenous zones and manual stimulation of the genitals and it can be done clothed."

"But do you know what that means?"

"Yes, Amy, there was even a picture."

Amy looked somewhat concerned, as though she wasn't quite sure Sheldon knew what he was getting into.

"I'm not opposed, Sheldon, but you have to let me know if you want to stop."

"You have to let me know too." He looked at her with wide, earnest blue eyes.

The problem was that neither of them knew exactly where to start or who was going to make the first move on the other. Sheldon stared awkwardly at Amy for a bit before moving in to kiss her. They kissed for a while, closed mouths but both enjoying it. Sheldon decided since he suggested it, he needed to make the first move.

Sheldon had rubbed vapour rub on Amy's chest before but he'd never actually cupped one of her breasts. He awkwardly closed his hand around it, not sure what he was supposed to. She moved her body closer to his so their thighs were touching. He wrapped his free arm around her. This didn't feel so bad he was doing okay.

He thought this too soon. Amy had only gently brushed the front of his suit bottoms but he gasped and jolted away.

"I'm sorry, no one's ever been near there. Well, Penny has but that was, different."

Amy looked horrified. "Penny has touched your genitals?"

"No! She undid my zipper once. When Leonard was away! But that's the closest anyone's ever been!"

"Sheldon! I've been going out with you for three years! I've been wanting to touch you for ages! And you've been letting you neighbour, my best friend, touch you!"

"She hasn't touched me, she just undid my zipper that's all!"

Amy raised her eyebrows at him, almost too furious to speak.

"Okay, she accidentally cupped my balls a bit but that's it!"

"Just go," Amy muttered dejectedly.

"But my ride's not here."

"Take the bus! Sheldon please, just leave."

Sheldon turned at walked out of the apartment, sulking. He'd tried tonight, he really had. He shouldn't have said what he did, but he was panicking. He phoned Penny, asking her to collect him and told her what had happened. She was about as amused as Amy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all for your reviews! Sorry there's been a delay, had a lot of university work! Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Sheldon hadn't heard from Amy in days now and was starting to get a bit concerned about her wellbeing. He knew she was angry with him, but he just couldn't understand what he had done wrong this time. He wasn't going to apologize if he'd done nothing wrong. He'd text her innumerable times but he still hadn't heard back. As soon as Penny arrived, he was quick to quiz her about Amy, but Penny was giving nothing away.

It was Halo night and Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Penny were sat in the boys' living room. To Sheldon's knowledge, Raj was currently engaging in coitus with Emily, so he agreed to partner with his new good friend Howard. He and Howard were struggling against Penny and Leonard. Sheldon was relieved when he was finally able to kill Penny's character. He continued to shoot at her every time she respawned attempting to buy time for Howard to go after Leonard. It wasn't like Sheldon to repeatedly shoot at someone, but he was aggravated and hated losing at the best of times.

"Sheldon!" Penny yelled. "You told me first time we played that it's bad gamesmanship to shoot someone who's just respawned!"

Sheldon ignored her and continued to shoot at her character.

"Sheldon, stop!" She swiped across at him to grab the controller and brushed across the crotch of his chinos. Sheldon's face flushed red. He could feel himself starting to harden and he focused as much of his attention on the television as possible.

Realising it was impossible to ignore it he threw his controller across the floor and stormed to the bathroom. He was angry at her for touching him there. But he was angrier with himself for letting it ignite such a reaction. He slammed the bathroom door behind him locking it. He heard the game being paused behind him and the others muttering about him. He sat down against the bath, feeling the cool floor underneath him. He pulled his knees up against his body and put his head between his legs. He wasn't sure how long he sat like that but he eventually heard a knock on the door.

"You okay in there buddy?" Leonard called.

"I'm fine," Sheldon snapped back through gritted teeth.

He heard footsteps as Leonard walked back to the living room. He could hear him talking to the others, them all talking about his "problems with Amy". Sheldon could feel himself getting angrier. How dare they talk about his relationship with Amy? It was no one's business except his and Amy's. He stood up abruptly and walked to the door, unlocking it. He stalked back into the living room throwing irritable glances at Penny, Leonard and Howard. He grabbed his jacket and walked out the apartment.

Knock knock knock. "Amy!"

Knock knock knock. "Amy!"

Knock knock knock. "Amy!"

Sheldon was stood with his hands limply at his side, feeling anxious about how Amy was going to respond to him. He was already upset after having to travel to Amy's on the bus without his bus pants. He had refused to ask one of the other's for a lift though so he had been left with no choice. They wouldn't have taken me anyway, he thought to himself, they're so selfish.

He heard the door unlatch and Amy was stood before him.

"Sheldon, what are you doing here?"

"Amy, I came to," he hesitated. "Talk to you about what happened the other night."

Amy raised an eyebrow at him. "Sheldon, you owe me an apology for what you did the other night. And if you're not prepared to apologize then we're done here."

"Amy, I'm sorry that you feel what I said was offensive the other night."

"No Sheldon, that's not an apology. What you said was offensive, it's not just that I feel it was."

Sheldon swallowed hard. He looked at the floor. "Sorry."

Amy beckoned for him to come into the house and invited him to take a seat. She didn't offer him a beverage which irritated him but he wasn't prepared to trigger anything else he might have to apologize for. He sat down and stared at his knees.

"So, are you ready to explain what exactly happened with Penny? And when?" she arched an eyebrow at him.

"I thought you spoke to her."

"It wasn't her place to talk about it."

"I told you everything the other day. My zipper got stuck, Penny undid it and caught my testicles. Nothing happened," Sheldon looked at her angered face. "Amy, this is ridiculous, I didn't do anything wrong!"

"When did this happen?" Amy's eyes were boring into him.

"September 26, 2013."

"How could you, Sheldon? Why didn't you tell me?" Amy was shouting at him now, he could see she was visibly upset.

Sheldon moved closer to her on the couch and awkwardly put an arm around her. She looked up at him confused but didn't pull away.

"Amy, you have to understand, I don't understand normal social interactions. Maybe I didn't make a big deal out of it because, I didn't know it was a big deal?"

"I guess I know that, Sheldon, I'm sorry for getting angry with you. I'd just rather it didn't happen again."

Sheldon nodded curtly. "Well, next time my zipper gets stuck, I'll come and see you."

"Hoo."

Sheldon raised a confused eyebrow at her.

Amy stood up. "I need to brush my teeth, it might take a while."

Sheldon shook his head in confusion as Amy left the room. He reached for the television remotes and switched it to the _SyFy _channel as an episode of _Smallville _was about to begin. He stared at the screen not really seeing it. How had he managed to calm her down so quickly? And where was she now? Confused, he decided to text Penny.

_I've fixed things with Amy. She's gone to brush her teeth for ages. Why does she always brush her teeth for so long?_

Sheldon wasn't lying, social situations did confuse him. But Penny always understood social situations. She would know what was happening.

After what felt like eternity, but in reality was not more than ten minutes, Amy returned to the room. She came and sat on the couch beside him. He switched the television off and turned to face her. She gently took his hand. He fidgeted awkwardly but didn't resist. She met his eyes.

"Listen, Sheldon, if this is going to work, you need to show me some form of commitment."

"Amy," Sheldon began. "We tried intimacy, it didn't work. I'm not ready and I'm not really sure you are either."

"Sheldon, that's not what I'm asking right now," Amy looked him in the eyes. "I'm going to visit family tomorrow and I would like you to come to. They've never met you. Half of them think you don't exist. Will you do this for me?"

Sheldon swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing as he did so. He nodded once. "I will."

"Thank you, Sheldon," Amy squeezed his hand. "It's important to me that you meet my family."

Sheldon sighed. He carefully removed his hand from Amy's. "May I have a hot beverage now, Amy?"

Amy smiled at him and stood up to head to the kitchen. He heard her busying herself making him a cup of tea. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was Penny.

_Maybe you need to ask Amy xx_


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for all the positive reviews! I've been working hard on the next two chapters and am looking forward to posting them! Hope you enjoy!**

Sheldon wore a suit for the occasion of properly meeting Amy's family. He had seen her mother once on webcam, where he had informed Mrs Fowler that they had been regularly engaging in coitus, a sentiment Amy had seem pleased with, with Mrs Fowler being somewhat less impressed. He arrived at Amy's apartment at exactly 11am as they had arranged. He completed his series of knocks on her door and stood there, anxiously straightening his tie. He had absolutely no idea what she was expecting of him today and he had no idea how she wanted him to behave in this new social situation. He wasn't even sure how many people would be there. He was hoping for some kind of brief in the car on the journey there.

Amy opened her front door and greeted him with a warm smile. She was dressed in a long green dress and matching cardigan and bag. He smiled down at her and moved aside to she could step out of the apartment. She carefully locked the door behind them and moved to take his arm. He jerked away, making sure he was out of her reach.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I was going to hold your arm," she explained. "It would be nice if we could do that today."

Sheldon remembered what he had thought earlier about wanting to make her happy and reluctantly outstretched his arm. She linked hers round it and moved in towards him. He took in the scent of her dandruff shampoo and allowed himself to enjoy it.

They made it to the car and they climbed in, Sheldon taking the passenger seat. He wondered to himself how things would be different if he could drive. For a start he wouldn't always be waiting around for a ride and wasting valuable working time.

Keeping her eyes focused on the road, Amy began small talk with Sheldon. They discussed benign matters about how they were, and how they found the weather to be agreeable. Sheldon figured he was practicing for the day ahead of him.

"Sheldon, there's a few things I'd like you to do today," Amy said, giving him a sideways glance to see how he had taken this. He nodded slowly without giving any verbal affirmation.

"Can you try and just talk about normal things today? No bowel movements or anything?"

Sheldon murmured his agreement, this didn't seem so hard.

"And could you try just a little physical affection?"

And there it was, she was wanting him to get physical again. He sighed loudly and looked over at her.

"What does that entail?" he asked.

"Just hold my hand or my arm and maybe kiss me on the cheek?"

"I'll try," Sheldon said stiffly.

The rest of the hour long journey passed in awkward silence. Normally they would discuss their respective work, or debate a key concept, but since Sheldon wasn't currently working and Amy was more concerned about him showing her up today, there was little interest in either of these fields.

Just after noon, Amy parked the car in front of a respectable house on the corner of a street. The house was whitewashed, and was surrounded by a large number of plants. Sheldon climbed out of the car, glancing up at the house. He felt a sense of dread at the large number of people that were probably inside waiting to meet him and scrutinise his relationship with Amy. He began to walk towards the door, before Amy grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him back.

"Sheldon, please, be normal," Amy whispered.

Sheldon pulled away infuriated. He stumbled backwards. What was wrong with her, how could she say he was not normal?

"I'm not normal?" he shouted. "You're the one who's always telling everybody how great kissing me is, you want to see my penis and you're constantly desperate for me to touch your breasts!"

Amy stared at the floor. While he was shouting Sheldon was completely oblivious that the door had opened behind him. He swung round in shock feeling eyes burning. Amy's face was scarlet at this point, she looked up awkwardly at her family.

"Hi mom, dad, grandma, Tom, Jess," Amy awkwardly addressed each member of her family in turn. "This is Sheldon."

Sheldon looked anxiously round the family, feeling their eyes boring into him. He could feel the anger from them being projected onto him. He nodded briefly at the family, not sure what else to do. Amy was always so keen to introduce him as her boyfriend, but right now she wasn't even introducing him as a boyfriend to her own family. Even Sheldon could understand he'd embarrassed her though. The way she walked slowly, apprehensively towards the house, like she was dreading what was ahead. He walked after her slowly, keeping his distance. The man he took to be Amy's brother gave him a particularly dirty look as he walked past him into the hallway of the house.

Sheldon wasn't enjoying his time with Amy's family. Her nieces and nephews were running rampant, disregarding his need for personal space. He'd had to shake hands with Amy's entire family and nearly exhausted his supply of Purrell. And worst of all, Amy wasn't even speaking to him. Despite all her pep talks, she wasn't even trying to make them act like a happy couple. He milled around in the corner awkwardly, with no one speaking to him and Sheldon refusing to make an effort to speak to anyone else.

Sheldon was frustrated and bored. He'd stood around for two hours talking to no one, there didn't appear to be any food on the horizon, putting his lunch schedule out, and he'd had enough. He walked through to the kitchen and tapped Amy on the shoulder.

"Amy, I need to talk to you," he said firmly.

Amy's mother looked at him coldly. "Surely after your earlier outburst you're comfortable saying anything in front of all of us?" she asked.

"I don't feel comfortable at all," Sheldon said, the heat rising in his face. "In fact, you've all made me feel extremely uncomfortable the whole time I've been here. I don't claim to be an expert on social interactions, but I am completely clear that you're all being extremely rude."

Amy's father walked slowly over from the other side of the room and Sheldon could feel the tension building.

"Young man," his voice was low and angered. "You walk into our house after shouting abuse at our daughter on our front lawn. You stand around washing yourself after touching every member of my family. And now you start being rude to my wife. Who do you think you are?"

Sheldon stood there, slightly thrown by the sudden confrontation. "I have two PHDs, I don't have to deal with this. Amy, I want to go home."

"I'm not taking you home, Sheldon."

"Fine," Sheldon snapped. "I'll call Penny."

"I am sure you will!" Amy shouted at him. "Whatever happens you go running to her, my best friend, ready to bitch about me and complain about how hard your life is! You claim to have phobias of germs, but if Penny wants to touch you or kiss you, you're all over that-"

"No I'm not!" Sheldon interjected.

"And then you start encouraging her to feel your testicles, whilst in a relationship with me in which you refuse to get physical!"

The whole room was silent.

"Well," Sheldon started. "At least your family know you had me lie to them about having sex with you. Something I'm very uncomfortable with."

"I didn't ask you to do that, Sheldon," Amy retorted.

"Additionally," he turned to Amy's parents. "I'm never going to have sex with your daughter because I don't find her in any way attractive."

Sheldon was not in the least bit prepared for Amy's father to grab hold of him and drag him to the door. Struggling, Sheldon managed to pull himself out of the older man's grip but not in time for him to escape being shoved face first out of the door onto the gravel. He heard the door being slammed behind him as he pulled himself into a sitting position and began examining his wounds.

He reached in his pocket for his phone and hit recently dialled.

"Hi Leonard, my old buddy. Do you want to come pick me up?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone! Thank you once again for your reviews! Sorry this has been a while in the making, I had to make a few decisions about where I wanted to take the story! Hope you all enjoy it! And thank you for reading! **

**Warning: this chapter contains a short adult scene**

Sheldon awoke feeling frustrated and irritated. He really gave up trying, everything he did for her backfired and he didn't know what to do anymore. He climbed out of bed stumbling down the hall way to the kitchen. Leonard wasn't up yet so he had the apartment to himself. He selected big bran from the high fibre end of the cereal collection, pouring himself a bowl. He felt the choice was appropriate given the stress he was feeling right now.

Taking his cereal, he positioned himself in front of the television, switching it to BBC America to watch _Doctor Who_. He sat back, not really watching the programme but contemplating his current situation. He could probably buy her another gift, perhaps she'd like another tiara? She seemed pretty pleased with that last time.

He was surprised to hear his front door being unlocked and Penny bursting in. It was 7.05 am and he was somewhat concerned for the safety of his throat. Surely he couldn't have woken her?

"Oh good, you're up," Penny was still in her pajamas with her hair tied up in a bun on the top of her head, she looked tired.

"It's not an accident," Sheldon commented.

"Yeah, yeah. Look Sheldon, I really need to talk to you about Amy."

Sheldon sighed, setting his cereal on the coffee table and muting _Doctor Who. _He met Penny with his big blue eyes and fixed her in his gaze.

"She's pretty upset, Sheldon," Penny began. "I've been talking to her most of the night. I didn't want to get involved but… Will you promise not to be mad?"

"I can't promise that, Penny, I've no idea what you've done."

"I've invited Amy round to mine this morning, I thought maybe you two could talk about what happened on some mutual ground and you know, you might end up not getting kicked out."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow.

"Are you mad?" she asked, somewhat anxiously.

"No," Sheldon said slowly. "I'm just confused what you think you'll achieve with this."

"I just want you to try and you know talk," Penny trailed off. "She's going to be round at ten. Will you come?" she added hopefully.

"Yes," Sheldon picked up his cereal and turned his attention back to the television, flicking the sound back on.

Sheldon gathered up his cereal bowl and walked over to the kitchen. He was confused. Why had Amy contacted Penny last night? From the way she spoke about her yesterday, she seemed angry with her. Maybe because she's Amy's only friend, said a small voice in his head. He quickly shut out the voice, assuring himself that Amy had Bernadette and that couldn't be the reason. He walked to his room, selecting his green lantern t-shirt with striped undershirt and chinos. Gathering his clothes he walked to his and Leonard's shared bathroom, locking the door.

He remembered reading an article about how masturbation can help calm you before you have to go to an important meeting. It was probably hokum, but right now Sheldon felt so stressed he was willing to give it a go. He quickly undressed and stepped under the warm water. He carefully reached for the soap and lathered his hands. Much as he would never want to admit it, Sheldon wasn't a stranger to masturbation. He wouldn't go as far as Leonard and call himself a semi pro but he certainly knew what he was doing and what he liked. He gently cupped his balls, stroking his length as it hardened. He rubbed himself until his cock was pressed up against his stomach. Quickening his pace, he started to think about his favourite thing. Penny with her golden curls and bright green eyes. Or more specifically her breasts, which he had only seen once but thanks to his eidetic memory, was able to see whenever he wanted. Fairly soon the hot liquid was squirting over his stomach.

At precisely ten, Sheldon began his sequence of knocks on Penny's door. He heard movement inside before Penny opened the door. She smiled up at him.

Sheldon made a strangled noise in his throat as he was suddenly reminded of what he'd done earlier and immediately felt his ears start to get warm.

Amy was sat on Penny's couch. She had clearly been crying. He couldn't even look her in the eye after the events of yesterday. Was he feeling some kind of shame?

Shuffling his feet slightly, Sheldon made his way to Penny's couch, positioning himself at the opposite end to Amy. He didn't know what to do with himself, feeling as though he had too many limbs to arrange. He stared determinedly at his feet. He didn't know what else to do. What was the social convention in a situation like this? If he was feeling discomfort though, it would be nothing compared to what Penny was feeling. She was stood anxiously looking between the two of them, shifting from one foot to the other. Clearly, she was regretting the suggestion to meet in her apartment.

"I'm going to go into the bedroom and let you two talk," she said rather too quickly, hurrying to her bedroom and closing the door.

Neither of them spoke. They sat in silence not daring to look at one another. Sheldon shifted awkwardly on the couch. He rearranged his hands in his lap.

"Sheldon, you embarrassed me yesterday," Amy cut the silence like a knife.

"And your family hurt me," Sheldon countered. "Physically."

"Listen, Sheldon," Amy was looking at him but Sheldon was still staring determinedly at his laced shoes. "It just feels like every time we see each other now, it just turns into a fight."

Sheldon's face shot up. "And whose fault is that?" He was surprised at his own anger. He wasn't expecting to get annoyed so quickly. He just felt in the last few days something inside him had just broken.

"I think we both need to take responsibility," Amy conceded.

Sheldon opened his mouth to speak but said nothing. He could see she was about to speak again though so his eyes just flicked back to the floor.

"But Sheldon, as much as I want this to work, I can't live a life like this. I've cried myself to sleep every night, hoping something will work out. But it hasn't."

Sheldon was smart, he'd figured it out already. Even if it did involve social interaction. Amy didn't want to be with him anymore. He knew that. But why was he so upset? Was it the change in his life that was upsetting him? Was he upset because he was once again going to be hopelessly thinking about a girl who was never going to be interested in him? Or was he angry that after everything she had put him through, the date nights, the hand holding, that Amy was in fact ending it with him? Why didn't he want to believe this?

"What are you saying, Amy?" he said quietly. But he didn't know why. He knew exactly what she was saying.

"Sheldon, I've got to end this."

Sheldon stood up, staring at her but without really seeing her.

"I'll send you written notice of my relationship termination."

It touched him deeply that even after all this, she was still sticking to his relationship agreement. Really Sheldon? Said a small voice. Are you ever going to find anyone else that is ever going to do that?

He ignored the voice and swallowed hard.

"I understand," he said quietly, before turning on his heel and walking out of the door, with what felt to him like a certain sense of finality.

Sheldon unlocked the door to his apartment and walked through, slamming it shut behind him. He stalked irritably across his apartment and threw himself down on his bed, face down. He wept silently into the pillow, surprising himself with this show of emotion. After what felt like eternity he rolled onto his side and tried to fall asleep, determined to shut the world out.

Sheldon was awoken to a knock on his door. He recognised the knock immediately as Leonard's. He knew it couldn't be Penny because she would have just walked right in. He ignored it at first, unsticking his tear stained cheek from his pillow and rolling over to turn away from the door. He refused to let anyone know that he had been crying. Dr Sheldon Cooper didn't do crying.

"Sheldon, it's me, Leonard," he heard Leonard calling through the door.

"Go away!" Sheldon called back. He heard the door opening and Leonard walking into the room. Boy, and I thought I didn't understand social convention!

Leonard moved towards the bed and sat down. Sheldon stayed where he was with his back towards Leonard. Leonard gently placed a hand on Sheldon's shoulder.

"You okay, buddy?" Leonard said gently.

Sheldon ignored him, staring straight ahead at the wall.

"You know, I know better than anyone break ups are hard," Leonard gently squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm not upset."

"Sheldon, you've been in here all afternoon, you're obviously feeling something."

"I'm fine."

"Penny and I are really worried about you," Leonard continued. "You've been with Amy a long time."

"Yeah, Penny's so concerned she couldn't even be here," Sheldon scoffed.

"Penny would be here, Sheldon, you know she would."

"Well, where is she then?" Sheldon snapped.

"She's with Amy, she's taking this pretty badly too."

Sheldon let this sink in. What had Wolowitz said to him about taking sides after a break up all those years ago when Penny and Leonard had split for the first time? Was Penny really taking Amy's side over his? He had known Penny for years, they had lived just across the hall from one another. Penny once told him she loved him. Surely she wouldn't take Amy's side over this?

"Penny's taking Amy's side?" he asked, not wanting to know the answer.

Leonard shook his head, but Sheldon didn't see. "Of course she's not Sheldon, she wants to be there for both of you. She's in a very difficult position right now."

Sheldon snapped and sat up abruptly, startling Leonard.

"Penny is part of our social group, she should take my side! Amy is no longer part of our group, as the only reason she was ever entitled to join was because she was friends with me!"

"We're all very fond of Amy," Leonard said calmly.

"No you're not!" Sheldon shouted. "You all came and told me when we first became friends that none of you liked her!"

"Sheldon, calm down," Leonard gently sat Sheldon back down on the bed. He carefully met Sheldon's eyes, noticing they were red rimmed and his face was tear stained. "You've been crying."

Sheldon face started to twitch and he burst into a fresh set of tears. Leonard pulled him close, hugging him tightly and gently rubbing his back. This position wasn't comfortable for either physicist but Sheldon seemed reluctant to pull away and collect himself.

Eventually, Leonard broke away. "I'm going to go and make you some tea, Sheldon."

"I don't want tea."

"Well, Sheldon, as you say, when a friend is upset it is social protocol you bring them a hot beverage, such as tea."

Sheldon managed half a smile at how well he had trained Leonard.


End file.
